"Yes, I’m your lover. You don’t know what that is but you will," he said. "I know that too. I know all about you. But look: it’s real nice and you couldn’t ask for nobody better than me, or more polite. I always keep my word. I’ll tell you how it is, I’m always nice at first, the first time. I’ll hold you so tight you won’t think you have to try to get away or pretend anything because you’ll know you can’t. And I’ll come inside you where it’s all secret and you’ll give in to me and you’ll love me"
— -Joyce Carol Oates, Where Are You Going Where Have You Been?
"I would court you with a passion, if things were different. You’d never get me off your porch swing."
— A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb
"Your mind will never lose anything forever that’s worth keeping."
— Laura Whitcomb, A Certain Slant of Light
"The library smells like old books — a thousand leather doorways into other worlds. I hear silence, like the mind of God. I feel a presence in the empty chair beside me. The librarian watches me suspiciously. But the library is a sacred place, and I sit with the patron saint of readers. Pulsing goddess light moves through me for one moment like a glimpse of eternity instantly forgotten."
— A Certain Slant Of Light by Laura Whitcomb
Sometimes I’m so quiet,
talking feels strange.
I worry that I forgot how to do it
and make it seem easy.
When I was a teenager my favorite “Love song” was the song Morning Song by Jewel. I was obsessed with the idea of sleeping with someone. Waking up with them. Every thing in the realm of sleep was sacred. Sharing your dreams with someone. It still is in a way. I had a whole play list about sleeping with someone. It was an obsession.
jesus. I really just wrote “when I was young” Fuck you self, you’re still young. You’re just not a teenager.
I can’t stand it. The time. The hours. Day dreams. It’s eating at me. Killing my creativity. Today I sat out in the sun and realized. This is real. This is tangible. He isn’t. He is this other world. This other me I visit when my own self gets too rough. Have you ever kept someone at such a distance that they never really got to see you, but you felt closer to them than anyone? It’s a strange paradox. Showing your cards, except the ones under the table.